This wasn’t a pause I planned. It was one I needed.
Here’s what was really happening…
I took a break from Substack in December.
Not intentionally at first. Not strategically. Simply because I didn’t have the bandwidth, and something had to give.
This was the first time since I started writing here that I didn’t publish biweekly.
If I’m being real, that alone felt uncomfortable.
Before the holidays had even arrived, December was already moving fast.
I had the opportunity to speak at a real estate company’s holiday party, where I was brought in to lead an interactive conversation with a room full of ambitious, driven people. We talked about ambition, why goals don’t last past January, the power of accountability, and how mindset truly sets the tone for the year ahead (I wrote more about this concept in my last newsletter, which you can read here).
This wasn’t a passive talk. It was engaging, reflective, and real. People asked thoughtful questions. They challenged themselves. They opened up about where they’ve felt stuck year after year. It reminded me how hungry people are not just for motivation, but for clarity and sustainability.
December also included something I’ve been intentionally building. Once a month, I host a SoulCycle ride called Building Resilience From the Inside Out, an after work space where young professionals come together to move, reset, and connect through fitness. Over time, it’s grown into a community I genuinely love. We ride in collaboration with The Next Step, supporting the limb-loss community through movement and shared strength. It’s something I’ve always dreamed of creating! Our next ride is January 20th at 7:30 pm at SoulCycle (I’d love for you to join. You can reserve your spot here).
At the same time, I was still fully in my role as a therapist and coach, working one on one with clients. If you’ve ever done this work, you know the hours don’t end when sessions do. The thinking, the emotional processing, the holding of space happens long before and long after the calendar blocks.
Like most entrepreneurs, that wasn’t my only role. There were a dozen others woven in around it. That’s not really the point here.
Conversations, community, and movement. All different expressions of the same work.
Looking back, I’m actually pretty impressed with myself for one thing.
Even with how busy December was, I did prioritize what mattered to me.
I tried to have a social life. A lot of people were busy too, which honestly helped. There was less pressure to say yes to everything. I chose the people and moments that felt grounding. I protected my energy where I could. It wasn’t perfect, but it was intentional.
By mid-December, I was exhausted.
I had a trip planned to Israel for a week for a family function, and it ended up being exactly what I needed. I saw friends. I spent time with my family. I worked a little, but I also truly took time off.
It was Chanukah, and if you’ve never been to Israel during Chanukah, it is one of my favorite times to be there. The sufganiyot (jelly-filled donuts), the latkes (crispy potato pancakes), the menorahs everywhere, the energy in the streets. It’s joyful. It’s warm. It’s beautiful in a way that’s hard to describe unless you’ve felt it.
There’s something about being there that slows me down and brings me back into the present, where everything feels clearer and less overwhelming.
Beauty in the details. The streets, the rituals, the food, the way life unfolds here.
I don’t think it’s just the change of scenery. I think it’s the culture.
There’s a felt sense that life comes first and work fits around it, not the other way around. People sit at cafes. They actually take lunch. They linger over coffee. Conversations aren’t rushed. There’s less urgency to get to the next thing. Life isn’t constantly being squeezed in between meetings and notifications.
Work still matters, but it doesn’t dominate every moment of the day.
I noticed hints of that feeling when I returned to New York, but it became much clearer when I later spent time in Florida around the new year. Even while working a bit, my body felt different. Slower. More grounded. Less braced.
In both places, there’s a shared undercurrent of living first and working second.
Being away also gave me space to talk things out, and that part mattered more than I realized.
I was sitting with a friend of mine in Miami, both of us visiting from New York City. She’s also an entrepreneur and deeply driven. We spent time reflecting on the past year, the wins, the hard moments, and the exhaustion that can creep in when work starts to take over everything. Our experiences mirrored each other, and it felt grounding to finally name it all out loud. Something clicked for me in that conversation.
I don’t want to live second like I did this past year.
I keep asking myself how I can have ambitious goals, make real impact, and build the life I want financially without constantly feeling like I’m racing the clock.
Reflecting more, this year was busy because it made sense for it to be busy.
This was my first full year truly solo. A year and a half into entrepreneurship. Entrepreneurship is chaos. Tabs are always open. There’s no clean on-and-off switch. You’re building, refining, adjusting, holding a million moving parts at once. It makes sense why I felt the way I felt. Talking it out helped me finally put my finger on it.
One thing I know, and something I’m actively working on, is this: you don’t eliminate the chaos. You learn how to live inside it.
When I took a second to zoom out, I actually felt proud. Despite the chaos and constant building, I kept ties with what matters to me. I prioritized family and friendships. I protected Shabbat. I exercised. I prioritized sleep. I didn’t abandon myself completely, even in the busiest season.
Still, I could see it clearly.
Even while holding those anchors, my default mode was work first, life second.
Not because I don’t value living. That’s what happens in seasons of building. Entrepreneurship doesn’t come in clean lines. It spills. It stretches. It asks for more than you expect.
What I realized, especially after those trips, is that while I didn’t lose myself, I was asking my creativity to survive on leftovers.
The more I live first and work second, the more creativity I have. The more motivation shows up. I’m pulling from real life. From conversations. From being in the world. From being a person, not just a producer.
When I prioritize myself, it doesn’t take away from my work. It bleeds into it.
That’s what I’m bringing into this year.
Returning to New York was the real test.
When I came back to New York this week, something felt off.
I was sitting at my computer, looking at my Substack, thinking, wow, I haven’t written in a month.
Why don’t I know what to say?
Why does everything feel dull?
Pressure crept in. I had recently gained new subscribers, and this would be the first piece they were reading.
Then the thoughts followed.
- What are people going to think?
- Did people forget about me?
- Did I lose momentum?
Frustration set in.
Normally, when I sit down to write, my creativity flows. Ideas come easily. I get into deep focus and the words move through me.
This time, nothing.
I stared at the screen. Opened documents. Closed them.
I wrote three drafts. Three. That never happens. I deleted all of them.
So there I was, back at my desk, frustrated with myself, trying to force creativity that clearly wasn’t ready to be forced. I stepped away and told myself I wasn’t going to force it. I trust myself. I know it’s there. When it’s ready, it will come.
When I don’t know what to do, I return to the same mental workout I teach my clients: name the truth, validate it, and talk it through with people who hold me steady.
I talk to my people. My friends who are entrepreneurs. My ambitious friends who get it. I tell them I don’t know what’s going on. I feel stale at my computer. No creativity.
I stop trying to solve it and start expressing it.
The more I talked, the clearer I felt.
I wasn’t holding it alone.
Clarity comes from naming things out loud and hearing your own voice. Thoughts and emotions need somewhere to go. They need space to move, to be explored, to release energy.
My friend said to me, “Ellin, this is the newsletter.”
That’s when it clicked.
This is the newsletter.
Why was I not leaning into the exact thing so many people can relate to?
This is real. This is vulnerable. This is the part we skip over because we think we’re supposed to be “back” by now.
Then suddenly, my creativity came back. Quickly. Wildly.
Here’s the truth.
Motivation comes and goes. Creativity does too.
This wasn’t a lack of motivation, discipline, or drive. It was emotion. My emotions needed to be heard.
It was the ripple effect of a very full season.
December was intense. I worked hard. I showed up.
Sometimes, after seasons like that, your system just needs space.
You don’t always need an answer for why you feel off.
Sometimes it just makes sense.
If you’re struggling with creativity right now.
If you feel unmotivated.
If you don’t feel like your full self yet after the holidays.
You’re not broken. You’re human.
Maybe the work isn’t to push harder.
Maybe it’s to talk about it.
To validate what your body and mind are telling you.
To let clarity come instead of chasing it.
That’s where mine came from.
That’s why I’m back here, sharing this with you.
If this resonated with you, I’d love to hear from you.
Reply to this email or send me a note and tell me what part landed. As we move into 2026, I’m curious: what are you choosing to bring with you, and what are you leaving behind?
Let’s Keep Growing: What’s Next For You
Thank you for being here. Really. Every time you open one of these emails, it means something and I don’t take that lightly.
If this sparked something for you, I’d love to hear it. Just hit reply or email me at ellin@mentallyfitwithellin.com. And if you enjoyed this read, the best compliment you could give is to share it with one person or restack it.
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Let’s keep growing together.
– Ellin
